Tailgate Plan to Win: The "Brad's not stopping at any more redlights" Edition

With the impending trip to Knoxville, I think back to the greatest road trip of all time. Now, one must understand that throughout our college careers, my group of friends and I went to see Auburn play football in places such as Starkville, Oxford, Tuscaloosa, Orlando, Fayetteville, Baton Rouge, Athens and Nashville. From 2002-2004, there were only a pair of games that at least one of us didn't attend (at Southern Cal and at Georgia Tech). However, none of these (no matter how fun they were individually) could hold a candle to the Auburn-Tennessee game that special season.

It was a first for many of us: first GameDay experience, first time to see Brad's bare feet, first Super Target experience...However, there was so much more, such as:

- Mark's clutch decision to make the trip with us. After Mark's first road trip to Mississippi State a couple of weeks earlier, we were able to convince him to go to Knoxville. Mark's one of the best (and most quiet) people I know. His presence was essential to our group's fun and excitement levels.

- All five of us in my truck, in unison, performing the "Walk Like an Egyptian" dance moves during the song's playing on Sirius. Yep, we are that good.

- Six of us staying in a Days Inn hotel room off I-40 on Luvell Road. It has since changed to an American Inn, but we'll never recognize the difference in chains. That place was special.

- Following dinner on Friday night at the Bar and Brewery downtown, splitting up for two reasons: 1.) to stalk the campus for a prime parking spot for Saturday morning and 2.) to get the food for our tailgate the next day.

- Meeting back up at the hotel to find Brad wearing the receipt from Kroger. I do not have this picture on this laptop, but it remains one of my favorites from the 04 season.

- Robert sleeping with Mark; Paul on the floor between the beds; Brad and I in the other bed. Where was Andrew?

- Andrew sleeping in front of the door to make sure that hotel management did not kick us out of said hotel room for having six adults despite only putting one adult on the reservation.

- Saturday morning, Brad, Paul and I made the short trek to Super Target to get a couple of additional tailgate items and some chairs. Brad and Paul broke out the big bucks and bought Eddie Bauer footrest chairs. They were the envy of the rest of our group.

- With raindrops falling lightly, we were trying to figure out how to get all six of us onto campus without taking more than one vehicle. Paul insisted on riding in the bed of my truck. Andrew refused to allow this to happen. What ensued was a battle of positions in the front seat between Mark and Paul that is still legendary amongst our circle of friends to-date.

- After parking, we walked a little around campus in search of the campus bookstore and GameDay. We made a brief appearance at GameDay (the show was in full-swing when we got there), and we kept searching for the store. Upon entering the store, we were harassed by an elderly couple. The old lady then preceded to tell us that she was confused with all the orange but could tell the difference since our orange was "more faded." Colors are hard in East Tennessee.

- This was our first true tailgating experience. Andrew and I used research from our trip to Baton Rouge in 2003 to figure out some essentials. We had a small TV and converter box running off my truck's battery. This required multiple key cranks, but it made it worth it to watch LSU-Georgia, Arkansas-Florida and keeping Paul from being able to watch Notre Dame-Purdue.

- Because of the aforementioned rain, we sometimes had a tarp covering the TV.

- Did I mention that the Friday night receipt from Kroger was enormous?

- It seemed like things were going too good. Great tailgate, great parking spot at the United Methodist Church...No way we'd win the game. Brad had different thoughts. His pregame prediction? 56-3.

- We were spread out throughout the Auburn lower bowl section. Paul was over by the band with Mark a few rows ahead of him. Robert and Brad sat down to our left, while Andrew and I were directly behind the UT entrance from their locker room.

- It must be said that this night was the same night that I developed my man crush on Trooper Taylor.

- The game...well, I won't give a game story here. Let's just say Brad's prediction was looking rather good at halftime (31-3 Tigers). Kirk Herbstreit bowing to our fans still resonates in my mind when thinking back to this great night and great trip.

- I'd be depriving you faithful pair of readers if I didn't let you in on the 14-year-old Tennessee slutwhores (sorry, it's what we called them) that were well on their way to growing into the half bear/other half cat women their mothers wished for their future. They pranced in front of the Auburn section all night. They were also one of the first topics of conversation when all six of us came back together to sing the alma mater following the victory.

- Traffic awaited us after the game, but the Tennessee fans were much quieter than they had been on the way into the stadium. To avoid traffic, Brad and I made an ill-advised decision to take back roads back to the hotel out on Luvell Road. A 15-mile trip turned into an hour and a half long journey through scary parts of East Tennessee. On a bright note, we did get to see Carl Stewart's hometown.

- During the lost portion of the evening, more position battles in the front seat between Paul and Mark added hilarity to our ride.

- At some point during the trip back home, with Brad driving, the idea of stopping at red lights went out the window. It's also been rumored that the truck's speedometer exceeded 100 mph. These rumors will not be confirmed at this time.

- I find it funny that, despite the blatant disregard for the law that night, Brad is now a police chief.

We will return to Knoxville and Neyland Stadium five years almost to the day for another battle with the Volunteers. Much has changed for both programs since that early October night in 2004. While it would be great to have all six of us go back together, it's not going to be that way. I am, though, looking very much forward to the weekend with a new group.

Those that I know making the trip this year are Paul, Brad, Amber, All Auburn, All Orange, All Facebook, All Kirk, Frank Buttler and his wife Kathy, as well as Andy Shores. While I promise the memories won't be the same, I just hope for a similar result on the field.

I hope this brings back some great memories for everyone that was with me that weekend. I can honestly say it was one of the best of my 27 years.

Do What We Do. War Eagle.

Chris