Sunday, April 20, 2008

Changes on the Horizon

In 23 days, I will have been graduated from Auburn for exactly three years. Since May 13, 2005, I've lived in two apartments, at home with the parents twice, a rental house and now here on Birch Tree Lane in Saltillo. In a lot of ways, I'm the same guy who walked across the stage behind Joy Howie and in front of my family (not to mention those who I consider to be extended family). It was one of the most fulfilling days of my life, that Friday the 13th.

I remember vividly every aspect of that morning. Momma Goldberg's after the ceremony and our pictures. The fast goodbye to Robert as he packed up and traveled back to Arab before we headed to O'Charley's for a celebratory dinner. John, Andrew's brother, leaning over to Jeanie and asking her to reach in his pocket. I look back on that 24-hour milestone with a smile.

As I stated above, I'm a lot like that guy who, on May 13, 2005, was ready to take on the athletic department ladder by storm. I was going to be moving to Gainesville in just over a month and learn under a new regime at UF. After that, it'd be an entry-level full-time spot at another Southeastern Conference institution before getting back to Auburn. It was a well-planned out career chart. Nothing could deter me from getting my next goal, since every other goal to that point had been achieved.

A total of 1,072 days have passed me by, and I no longer hold that aspiration to be an Athletic Director. As a matter of fact, I don't really have any desire to re-enter the athletic world other than being a spectator with several great stories to share with anyone willing to hear them. So, what do I do now?

Time plays its toll on those who are not ready for its benefits. I'm smarter than that day in Beard-Eaves Memorial Coliseum. However, I'm a guy without a plan at this moment. Where am I heading? What am I going to do?

I'm happy, very happy, with the way my life has worked out so far. I have friends that span across this great country and a family that can be surpassed by none other. The love and support they have shown me over my 25 years is a blessing from God, and I am not the person I am today without everyone who has ever been a part of my life - positive and negative alike. I'm happy, just not as happy as I believe I can be.

At work, I have several projects that are going to be wrapping up in the coming months. I'm hoping the last major one will implement around December or January. When it finishes, I'm going to place the house on the market. When the house sells (and it must meet a mandated price figure to get out the investment I've made), I'm going to search for a new job, a new career. I feel like I've hit a ceiling at BancorpSouth and can only offer so much to this position.

What's crazy is that I've prayed about this change to make me a better person, and I asked for signs that this would be the right move. Suddenly, these projects started to pick up steam. The next sermon at church dealt with making big decisions based on faith and knowing that God will take care of us as long as we find His plan and His way in all we do. For the first time in I don't know how long, I'm going to let Him direct everything without question.

Something like this will take is a lot of discipline, and I'm not the most patient person around. I know better than to pray for patience, but we listened to a sermon on discipline today at church. Talk about your back-to-back whammies. Doing what we ought to, not doing what we want to. What a novel concept...

My next goals are very personal yet simplistic in nature. I feel in my heart that these goals cannot be attained in Tupelo. If I don't get out now...well, time will take its toll on me also. I'm praying for discipline and guidance. I've rested easier at night since making this decision, and it's a peace that I've been missing for so long.

I'll keep everyone updated as much as possible. Now, it's time to go outside, look up at the stars and have a conversation. As always, thanks for reading.

War Eagle.

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Sunday, April 13, 2008

The "Justin Hargett Power" Equilibrium

While 78,000-plus walked through the gates in Tuscaloosa to see Nick Saban win his ninth game as the head coach at Alabama (seven regular season + two spring games), I headed down to Auburn for a quick trip filled with stories, fun and a baseball game. Since I slept in a little too late for the early church service, now seems as good of a time as any to write this post.

As I wrote earlier this week, I was a bit under the weather Wednesday and still felt the effects well into the evening hours of Thursday. I had been wanting to go down to Auburn to see at least one of the South Carolina games, but I couldn't force myself to drive all that way for one game if I didn't feel at least 90 percent.

Friday morning, I felt better as the day went on, and I went ahead and made the call to go around lunch. I drove home to pack up so that I could leave straight from the office to the Plains. The drive included several phone conversations with people about some things I'm working through in my mind right now (more on those later...probably much later).

When I got to Auburn, it was Brick Oven for dinner with Andrew. Soon afterwards, Andy headed out to edge of forest to hang out at the camper. We swapped glory stories of little league seasons gone past (inspired by my team's scrimmage Thursday night). Things were great until Andy decided at 2:45 in the a.m. that he was hungry for some Taco Bell. An hour later, he got his "nourishment" but we had some good laughs about it.

Saturday, I hung out at the camper until it was time to go to baseball. I made a quick stop in the press box to say hello to Dan Froehlich (Auburn's baseball SID) and Andrew Kitick (South Carolina's baseball SID) while waiting on the game to start and for Andrew to show up. After catching up a little with those two, I headed down to the stands and sat with some of the players' parents for a couple of innings.

Andrew arrived around the bottom of the third, and we headed to Section 111. Normally, I hate sitting here thanks to the riffraff clientèle, however Saturday was the exception to the rule. From this perch, we found a blast from the past, circa summer 2004. Sitting a couple of rows ahead of us was "Music Appreciation Girl" from Andrew's class that summer semester. I think her name is Caroline, but "Music Appreciation Girl" is what has stuck.

After confirming with 100 percent assurance that MAG was in our presence, we both noticed around the same time her wedding ring. Andrew then rattled off three phrases which should go down in our friendship's long and storied lore: "Woah, she's married now. Wow, she's waayyyy married. She's married to the Justin Hargett power."

To explain, our first baseball game experience this spring was enhanced by the support from Justin Hargett's (AU's second baseman) mom. We heard "Super Justin" and it's stuck with us through text messages and conversations over the last couple of months. The ring on MAG's finger had at least 20 diamonds wrapping the band and surrounding one massive mega-diamond. I think I still have a minor headache from the glare it caused when the sunlight caught at the right angles. We laughed about this the rest of the game.

As far as the game is concerned, South Carolina has one of the three best lineups our pitching staff will face from the 1-9 holes in the order. This does not really set up well for true freshmen on the mound. Cory Luckie had a very good outing and left with a chance for the "W" as AU was up 5-4. I would have pulled him before seeing the lineup for a third time, but I'm not making the decisions.

After a clutch two-out dinger from ninth-year senior Gamecock Phil Disher, AU's fate was pretty much sealed. The experience level gap just is too much for a team starting five freshmen. You just have to hold out hope that the missed opportunities diminish as their careers develop more. I have faith in their ability, and they have really good chemistry. It doesn't seem like there's really any quit in them and there's no deficit they feel is too great. You have to like that.

Another positive was finally seeing Hunter Morriss go yard. Almost on cue, Andrew and I both were talking about how we hadn't seen him really do anything in person aside from a couple of seeing-eye singles here and there. He turned on an inside pitch and knocked it into the hands of the K-Corner patrons atop the right field wall.

After the game, we headed to Buffalo Connection for dinner (which was great - to the Justin Hargett power) and I got back on the road. Most of the ride was spent talking some stuff over with the big guy upstairs, but I also was able to listen to my fair share of "old man music." I made it back to the house in record time (3:53), which saddens me and excites me at the same time. You'd think that I could make it to Auburn in record time and just take my time coming back. Oh well.

As always, thanks for reading. War Eagle.

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Wednesday, April 9, 2008

A little reflection...

So I'm sitting at home today with the stomach bug, and I can't help but think a little. OK, those of you know me me well will see right through that and find that my mind never really stops working or processing. I do my best to calculate my every move, which may seem to some folks as acting slowly. Everything with me has to possess a strategy and show to me a plan. It's hard for me to make leaps of faith, but I'm trying to get better with that.

A very good friend told me recently that you can't force things, and as hard as I try, there are just certain emotions and feelings that you cannot impress upon people. It's not that this is a new concept to me, but it's something that has inexplicably resonated with me the past few days. Remember, I try to plan all of my moves ahead of time and, to me, nothing is said or happens without reason.

If you feel like you don't have the energy to read a lot, please stop now. I give fair warning about the long-winded nature of this. People say that I don't really use my journalism degree any more, but this is an avenue where I can express an appreciation for something simple yet complex: words.

From a young age, I learned the importance of words and the power of silence. Sitting back, observing then surprising the people around me is my style and my comfort zone. That being said, most people that allow me to get close have realized that I can sometimes ramble and forget that whole "silence is golden" thing. There's really not that much middle ground, I guess.

Growing up, I used the tactic of letting my parents air out their frustrations and anger whenever I did something wrong. After the yelling and screaming, I would then state my case which usually led to reduced or no punishment whether I deserved it or not. I think I figured this out after inexcusably telling my mom to "shut up" once I realized something that all children eventually come to understand (I don't want to spoil the ending, but it involves the true identity of the guy in a red suit at Christmas). I lost my temper with them, something that rarely happened for the rest of my adolescence. Whenever I was really upset from then on, it was pretty much the silent treatment.

The phrase "the pen is mightier than the sword" has always been too cliche' for my liking. Sure, words are powerful and can affect the recipients' lives both positively or negatively depending on their tone and delivery, but it all depends on the person holding the pen and the person holding the sword. I've wrote and said things that have lifted people beyond the limits of the sky, and I've also destroyed confidences and hearts with the wrong words. It's not something I've ever been proud of, and I wish I could take those times back. Those times helped me to be better with words though, retrospectively. They've helped me to control something else that has always touched my life: passion.

Passion is one of those words that, when we are asked to define, we can't always come up with the right compilation of words to give these seven letters justice. It's just something that is inherent in all of us, something that everyone that has ever walked this earth holds in common. Whether that passion lie in sports or God or music or anything else, I've always been inspired by anyone who could unravel a speech from the heart concerning the importance of that passion in his or her life - whether or not I agree with their opinions. This is why I really enjoy the turning points in war movies where the general pulls the troops together or the coach fires his team up as they go out to face the common enemy.

I often joke with my friends now that my TV is my best friend here in Tupelo. Usually, this gets some laughs but I've also had folks act jealous for some reason. Anyway, I digress. Two things that I've watched in the past few weeks have really caught my attention and stirred emotions within me because of the words and the passion portrayed are John Adams, the HBO miniseries, and Facing the Giants. I was drawn to both of these by my love for sports and our country's history, but they both left me on the edge of my seat waiting for more. (Luckily, there are two more episodes in John Adams to satisfy that thirst.)

In Facing the Giants, a prep football coach is at the end of his proverbial rope. His car has broken down to the point of never starting, his team can't get over the hump of average 3-4 win seasons and he cannot give his wife the family that both want so desperately. Finally, he breaks down and, in a very moving scene, puts everything in God's hands. He even reduces the importance of his team winning on the scoreboard by pressing upon them the importance that they win in life with Jesus in control. "Praise Him when we win, praise Him when we lose" becomes the team's motto. Through the dramatization of film, this powerful message permeates throughout the school, the team wins game after game, a parent buys him a brand new truck...you get the drift.

In John Adams, I don't know why but it's hard not to find reasons to relate to one of the most distinguishable people in our early history. How awesome it would have been to be able to say that, as an actor, you were able to portray people like Abigail Adams, Sam Adams, Ben Franklin, George Washington and Thomas Jefferson. The speeches that these men (and women) gave to match the importance of their words which have stood the test of time...it's really powerful if you allow yourself to get caught up in it.

That's not what this blog is about though...I'm not Roger Ebert or anything. Life only gives you so many moments of reflection, and I don't want to pass up one of those right now. I want the words I choose to write and choose to say to be important. I want people to see my passion for not just sports, not just God, not just movies or Auburn or my country. I want the people in my life to see the passion I have for them, for their friendship and for the paths that our lives have crossed together.

I just hope that I find the right words to say when the opportunities arise.

As always, thanks for reading. War Eagle.

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Wednesday, April 2, 2008

The View from Section 109: The A-Day Game

Well, it took about three snaps for me to remember why I never got into the whole A-Day thing. While I thought this year would be different with the new offense and whatnot, I was sorely mistaken as we found a way to make things boring. Now, it must be said that "boring" in this case is not necessarily a bad thing. There were several sets of eyes hoping to get a glimpse of hints of what to expect in the future. All they saw was different personnel running the same plays and sets from the Peach Bowl.

Here are a few observations from the weekend concerning the football team, the baseball team and our tailgate setup...

1.) Kodi Burns is going to be dynamic in this style of offense whenever he's allowed to tuck and run. He may get beat up, but it's the first time we've had a true dual-threat in over a decade at this position. What's awesome is that we have another kid waiting in the wings who is more dynamic as a dual-threat in DeRon Furr.

2.) Ben Tate is our best running back. This says more about Ben than it does about the rest of the group, because I am not skiddish about the ball being in Brad Lester, Tristan Davis or Mario Fannin's hands either. I really think Tate is the best back we've had since Carnell and Ronnie. He's had more time to contribute for Auburn than Kenny Irons and possesses the vision necessary to read a hole off the sweep or power toss we like to run out of the spread.

3.) Josh Bynes may push starting time away from Blackmon. The kid is a beast and has gotten the mike linebacker calls down to an art. The second string defense really didn't miss much of a beat from the first string in backers and secondary, and Bynes was a big reason in all of this. I'm not saying Blackmon's fallen off as much as Bynes has stepped up.

4.) Ryan Williams will be the next Thorpe candidate from our secondary. Aairon Savage is ready for the primetime if he can get the bump and run coverage down just a little more. Jerraud Powers is a true shut-down corner and will make some more huge plays this year. Mike McNeil is the second coming of Junior Rosegreen. In other words, our secondary is S-I-C-K with talent.

5.) The baseball team has a very small margin for error, minuscule even. They're playing very good right now, sans the loss Tuesday night at always tough South Alabama, but a four-run lead can easily become a tie game or deficit if the freshman pitchers take on one too many batters or the normally flawless bullpen has a mental lapse, as was the case in the late innings Saturday. We could have swept Tennessee, but one thing that they're doing that they failed to do past Arizona State last season and earlier on the 2008 schedule is they're winning the winnable series. It's kind of weird that we're in first place but would be the odd man out if the SEC tournament started today.

6.) The tailgate is going to be a lot of fun at University Station. It was a little difficult to find in the dark of night Friday, but once everything was set up, it felt like a home away from home. The people around us are extremely friendly and I can't wait to develop better friendships with them. Plus, we're at the edge of forest for crying out loud. There is a gi-normous cell phone tower right in the middle of the RV park, so you'll always have service (if you are an AT&T customer). All in all, it was a great success.

7.) I've been told, ahem, that I'm too long-winded on my blog. Maybe so, but it was at the personal request of someone who I hold very dear to my heart that a thorough recap be written about THE WEEKEND. I did not want to disappoint by leaving out any minor details which could have enhanced the knowledge of those who could not be with us.

Lots of familiar faces were in town over the weekend (Brad, Amber, Karen Deaver, Andrew and Taylor). Purser had a great initial Auburn experience. He purchased an AU hat and changed his phone's background to the scoreboard from Plainsman Park. We missed Josh and Katie, but there will be plenty of time to catch up with them in the future. Congrats to Katie for making it into Florida State for law school.

Prayers go out to Robert as he begins his Paris educational experience. Also (and probably even more so importantly) to Jennifer as she continues to prod along like a trooper. We love both of you here at Roger Dodger's blog.

The countdown for Jimmy Buffett in New Orleans (May 3) starts now. First, though, a little trip
back in time on the docket this weekend to a place that I like to refer to as "prom." More details on that later.

That's all for now, faithful reader(s). As always, War Eagle.

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