Rest in peace, dear friend

We didn't get to spend enough time together, and that is my main regret. The five months you were in my life were some of the best ones I've known. Through sick times, you were there to comfort me. Every night, when I would get home, you would show your excitement and greet me with the only way you knew to hug me. It was me and you, kid, and that was supposed to just be the beginning.

From the moment we met, I knew we were meant to be a pair. The first time you got in the truck, your legs were a bit wobbly and you enjoyed falling down in the floor more than sitting in the chair. Your favorite place to ride for the longest time was my lap. Luckily, after a handful of trips to nana's house, you grew out of that.

Wednesday could very well be the toughest day of my life. They called to tell me that it didn't look good. Please know this: I trusted you with no one else's care better than the vets who looked after you. Nana promised to keep me up-to-date on your recovery. Except, there would be no recovery.

Around 10 a.m., I got the second-worst call I've ever received. They told me to make my way to say goodbye. Goodbye. Even a couple of days later, I can't keep from tearing up knowing that I had to say this to you.

I drove through rain and traffic as fast as I could to get to you. I hadn't cried in a long time, but I couldn't stop knowing that it wasn't fair. We had so many more memories to make together, you and me. It wasn't fair.

I passed the ASPCA building where we met. Needless to say, I won't be going by there any time soon. It's just too hard. When I got near the vet's office, where you laid sedated and helpless against the raging fever, I lost it again. It just wasn't fair.

We all agreed to meet at nana's office and go as one to say goodbye. There were hardly any words spoken. We weren't ready for you to leave us yet. You had become such a big part of our lives in just a short time. It just didn't seem fair at all.

When I walked back there to see you, my heart dropped. The shaking, the chattering...I still can't get it out of my head. You were hurting so bad that I could barely stand it. I just wanted you to feel better and to come back with me, but I knew we could only have one way to ensure this of happening.

This was one of, if not, the hardest decisions I've had to make in nearly 27 years of living. I love you so much that I couldn't let you go that easily. I know you were fighting to come back to us, but hope was fading fast. It's just not fair.

When you woke up, I saw the hurt in your eyes. I saw the longing to get up and shake it off as you had done with every single antic and laughable moment you had in your too short lifespan. The pain was just too much, and I couldn't bear to have you feel it again. That's when I knew it was time to make the choice.

I just don't want you to hold it against me. I can't walk by your cage, and every time I see one of your toys (hidden or otherwise) I break down. You changed my life in so many ways and all of them for the better. The void I have right now will not be easily filled and the time it will take to get past the hurt...I can't figure that part out yet.

So, please know, Rudi, that I love and miss you more every minute. I know you are in a better place, and I long for the day that we can be together again - making the memories we didn't get the chance for here. Sleep well, sweet girl.

Rudi

February 2009 - Sept. 9, 2009

Note: I had every intention of putting up the tailgate review and tailgate plan for this week by Wednesday before a couple of things got in the way. I have a lot written, just haven't put the finishing touches on it. We had a great opening tailgate filled with 26 guests (at my best count).

This week, we'll have a strong group again in the neighborhood of 30. Thanks to everyone going above and beyond in Week 1, we're set for this week without anyone having to bring anything. Most won't get to read this until after the weekend wraps up, but please come by if you are around tomorrow. We'd love to have you.

You can check out my brief thoughts on the Auburn-Louisiana Tech game as well as a couple of observations concerning tomorrow's game with State at CollegeSportsMatchups.com - click on SEC Forecast - Week 2 and notice my archive on the right. Or, you can click here: http://collegesportsmatchups.com/commentary/5/

Here's to making the biggest improvements (on and off the field) from week one to week two.

War Eagle forever and RIP Rudi.

Chris